The last .

I don't dare

I am going to give it up

I have asked too much

I have to stop

and ignoring is the best way .

let time decide

A reply to Wana's loveletter :)

She's a year younger. been knowing her since she was 13. a cute little girl. her sense of humor caught me in the first place. she's so bright that I could not resist to know her. I remember we first met in her dorm. I don't watch Bollywood film much. but I adore a handsome hero name Arjun Rampal. out of nowhere she seems to adore him too. our first conversation was merely about Arjun, if I'm not mistaken. funny though. since then we become closer. there was time when everybody had been fussing of having 'pet sister'. but I didn't. I've never asked her to be my 'pet sister'. I'm not sure if she disappointed of this. but I consider her more like a friend. a best friend. to whom I can lean to whenever I have problem with my other friends. someone who I can trust for keeping secrets. a girl who has been so kind and sincere to me.

and it's been 4 years since we last met. we just not yet being in the same place at the same time. I long for that day. this July perhaps?

To Anis Safwanah Azizan, thank you for your special entry. I miss you. Thank you for lending me your eyes and ears and heart and mind, just to listen to my wail and whimper, then make me smile again.

ain't we cute? ;)

I have so many things that I'm wondering

1. how on earth do the wireless things work ? @_@

2. if other people can play guitar after they have their shower because I can't play with my finger tips soften by the water

3. what other people do when they already lying in bed but can't sleep

4. why Bruno Mars would catch a grenade,throw his hand on a blade and jump in front of a train for that girl? shouldn't he save his life so that he can take a good care of her ??

5. if those girls with wavy hair do their hair or are they natural

6. why so many people here own either iPhone or BB..

7. how on earth people can discipline themselves to study and do the assignment but I can't T_T

8. what's its like to be in other's shoes

9. why am I being so nervous in front of my own classmates, people that I've known for years

10. how some people can learn sooooooooo many languages and even speak sooooooo fluent

11. is it true that married couple usually look alike ?

12. why human hair falls in autumn and winter too ? (apart from leaves)

13. where did I spend my money, they are all gone by now T_T

14. if internet doesn't exist

15. if dogs like me because they always come near me

16. why there is such word like 'colorless' when there's nothing that we can see is colorless

17. how words that describing something which can't be seen are created ? ( I can't even explain this point.huhu)

18. if we can read others' mind

endless list. to be continue~

Over

What more do you want to hear from me?
Is there anything you wish to see?
A joke? A laugh? A smile? A cry?
A scream? A song? A lullaby?

See I know we are not who we were
I live in denial, remember?
So please don't ask me to open my eyes
Don't wanna wake up and realize

The honeymoon's over
That I should better
Be mature

I'm sorry I do not know what to say
Do understand I'm breaking, but hey
When you tell me that you are leaving
Don't think I didn’t see it coming

Of course I saw we are no longer
Having stuff we enjoy together
But can we play along our part
And not parade this change of heart?

Are you really sure?
That we off better
And over?

What more can I say when you wish to leave today
I wont break down now and burst
But..
Would you like to have one last breakfast?

ps. this is a song lyric :)

numbers

korang mesti ada nampak budak2 kat facebook main post numbers kat wall kan? tak teringin pun nak terlibat dengan benda ni mula2. maklumlah malas je.hehe. tapi ada one of my besties masa kat high school dulu pun post2 jugak. and saya tahu dia sangat baik dan honest. so tergerak pulak nak tahu what she thinks about me. dah kawan dari form one mesti ada benda baik punyaa yang dia akan cakap.hehe. so this is what she says about me. jangan muntah lepas baca pujian2 yang sedikit tu.haha!

" numbers: sangat manja and keanak-anakan.. stylo. suke ;) Englishnye super supreme ooh..kalau time birthday kawan-kawan, dia mesti tak lupa nak wish. sebab tu kawan tak lupakan dia.gaya dia lembut2, ayu2. tak pandai nak sorok perasaan sangat. jujur. kalau dia tak suka kita boleh nampak ikut muka and gaya dia. hehhe comel. kalau merajuk, dia tak nak cakap ngan orang tu. sampai lah dia dah cool baru dia cakap. tapi rasa2 nye dia tak penah lagi merajuk ngan saya..kan.kan.kan.yeke.tehee " (nurul jannah,2011)

korang nampak tak ada ayat yang saya italic kan tu?? bila fikir2 balik, macam ni rupanya saya. tak sedar sangat selama ni. yang rupa2 nya satu perangai saya ni, orang lain pun sampai perasan saya ada perangai macam ni. (ayat ada unsur2 redundant) mungkin ada baik dan ada tak baik nya tunjuk perasaan depan2 orang ni. takut orang lain tu kata kita ni emo lebih, sikit2 nak kecik hati, tak boleh nak control emotion depan orang.. agak2 kalau selalu sangat tengok orang buat perangai camni mau rasa menyampah jugak kan? sorry kadang2 saya tak sedar pun saya buat. bukan tak sedar, tapi benda tu tak dapat nak elak. otomatik kata orang puteh. mungkin lepas ni kena try la control sikit2. boleh la jaga hati orang lain sikit kan. tapi kalau tak tunjuk perasaan, orang ingat kita ok je. pastu buat kita sesuka hati. macam mana pulak tu? um, fikir sendiri la malas nak taip panjang2. cop ! bab English tu tak boleh blah. tahap sekolah menengah dulu boleh la cakap camtu.hahaha.

oh saya rindu jannah ! saya panggil dia ayong sebab dia lahir bulan satu. dia kena jadi kakak kepada adik2 lain dalam kelas.hehe. dia seorang yang bersopan santun dan cantik. tak sabar nak tengok dia kawen (tibe2) :p

tapi ada satu perasaan yang saya tak pandai nak tunjuk. ok. bye !